This feels slightly Carrie Bradshaw.
Which is fucking Brilliant.
A form of escapism from the manotomy of the day. 02.02am.02.03am. I fucking HATE that. I type a truth one second and the next it's a lie. Jesus. Talk about sweating the small stuff. The whole world is screwy, and I worry about the difference between 2 and 3.
Today, was shit. lets not delve into it further and digress.I want him to tell me he loves me...like he'd die for me a million times over, like nothing else matters, like the whole world stops turning because of me like he fucking means it. i've waited so long to be with him, and i know its fairly early, but i think overall its safe to say that the problem with men is, the reality, never lives up to the promise. i want real love, the type of love thats ridiculous, inconvenient, time consuming, can't-live-a-minute-without-each other love. And i think maybe it's here, it just needs a bit of growth...patience?
Right now life feels a bit bland, what is it? what are we doing? and why are we doing it? It's like i'm working my way through the days and gettin where, nowhere. Life...its the bit between me and achieving my dreams. 2 of which i'm almost fulfilling. the other i don't know. and when i do fulfill them, no doubt they'll be something else. another goal...but why, why the drive to live